In Between

I do not know where I belong tonight,

as I am pulled between standing in unwritten words;

surrendering to fragile perceptions of what might have been;

or spiraling around sentences of idealism. 

If I sought my sanity for company,

I would reject every version of you that bound me to the illusion of freedom,

enfold me before I fall into the nest of your cryptic affection, 

and guard me from sparking your image across every corner of my thoughts.

But if I let myself be a lover tonight, 

I would collect you from the debris of the war within me, 

sit still with a memory of your touch and the curve of your lips---

allowing myself to be buried beneath the weight of your subsided love.

Do not ask where I belong tonight, 

I am caught between the extremes of the incarnation of my providence

as well as the falsehood of my color.

Neither favors me.

Tiffany Putri - Nov 24, 2024