How to stop thinking about you

I am far from being just to myself,

my mind is filled with images of you —

no room for others to step in,

no intervention, no distraction. 

I see you in every scene of my life’s film —

In the gentle dances of tree branches swept by the winter breeze,

the soft curve of a shining crescent, 

the joy of flowers bathed in spring sunlight. 

I hear you in every sound that lingers near —

In the symphony of choir voices sung by young hearts, 

in the roar of conversation about life and love, 

in the quiet rhythm of the night. 

I lie awake beneath the weight of my sins,

binding your fiery ideas within my thoughts, 

framing your words within my vision,

so that I may exist through you.

How can I be fair to myself?

When I am trying to see myself through your eternal absence,

dwelling in your world,

because I find my place in you. 

Tiffany Putri